I don’t know why it bugs the shit out of me so much when people abbreviate certain words whilst talking, but it does. During this last election season (thank Gawd it’s over with, by the way) I’ve noticed an incredibly unnecessary instance of this pet peeve of mine. It seems that it’s being used a lot, and that it had never previously been used before this week (at least that I know of):

DEMS

Enough!! Please. PLEASE just say “democrat”. It’s really not that hard. Two more syllables to say, and/or just a few more letters to type. Life isn’t that fast paced where we have to start shrinking our everyday words as if we’re text messaging someone on a cell phone. I first saw this on YAHOO! News the morning after the erections.. er, pardon me, elections, and now it seems to have caught on like the Macarena. Whomever started this monster deserves a Louisville Slugger to the shins.

Since I’m on this topic, I’ve got a bone to pick with traffic reporters as well: highway 35W should NOT be referred to as “35 dub” when you’re doing your little traffic reports. Say it like the white bread bird chested momma’s boy you are. It will take about 2/3 of a second off of your air time, which at very worst means you’ll have to trim some of the fat off of your lame, watery jokes you spew when you bounce things back to the news reporters. Repeat after me: Thirty Five Double-You. Dub is by no means a cool and hip way to refer to the letter W. You will not get younger viewers or groupies as a result of using the word “dub”. Think of how dang stupid that would sound if you were telling someone about a website: “Yes, you can find us online at dub dub dub dot iced ink dot net.” People never feel the need to shorten it to dub in that instance, and better yet they use it three times in a row!

Another one that makes me want to throw my glass of water in restaurants when I hear it: Guac. Is the “amole” part really that much more work to throw in?

If you’re typing it out on a wee cell phone with 12 keys, that’s cool. By all means abbreviate. But if you’re talking or typing, just put in the extra effort, people. Abbreviating words in everyday face to face communications may have been cool at some point… Like 10 years ago when instant messaging really started taking off. But it taint cool no more in my book, nor was it really ever.

“Long.. it’s the new short.”