My New Years resolution: To stop thinking I’m going to get a yummy mocha at the blue Dunn Bros. on Lyndale.

Is it possible to get a decent mocha there? Would it kill them? I’ve gone all hours of the day at least a half dozen times. Or maybe even a half baker’s dozen times (once I forgot my money so didn’t order anything).

Every time my mocha tastes the same no matter who makes it: watery, yet strangely intense coffee flavor with just enough chocolate to tease me and make me think it will get better. Yet it doesn’t, really. Warm or iced, it’s almost as if they put used grounds in a burlap bag, run it under hot water and wring it out into my cup rather than pulling a good shot of espresso. Or maybe they’re just mixing that chocolate water Yoo-hoo stuff with the bottled Starbucks Frappuchino thingies.

I’m not one to bring my drink back and complain, that’s just not my style. Usually it’s not that bad.. it’s drinkable at the very least. Granted I’m paying $3.50 for something that’s over 99 percent water and should be getting my money’s worth for that less-than 1 percent.. but after spending a few years behind the counter at a coffee shop, I don’t want to be That Guy. I’ve had to deal with That Guy, and it can be really irritating. That Guy always comes back to the counter and bugs you at the wrong time. It’s some unwritten code in customer service – that’s just how it works.

I know they can do it – I’ve been to nearly every other Dunn Bros. in town and even played a few of them. All of the others have made phenomenal mochas (the one down on 50th and Xerxes makes a hella mean iced mocha, I must say). But. I have been to the blue one approximately six and a half times now, and that’s, like, 20 sumpin dollars for 96 ounces of liquid that was mediocre at best.

Maybe it’s time to say goodbye for now. Thanks for the memories, blue Dunn Bros. location. I’ll try and end this relationship on a positive note: Hmm.. your staff was always very nice there. Yeah, that’s good. Wait… I know:

Dear blue Dunn Bros.: You are the best blue coffee shop located under a movie rental store, hair salon, and next to a Quiznos that I’ve ever been to. I will gladly come back if you start making mochas that don’t taste like poo.

Sincerely,

Micycle.