I’ve been under a bit of stress lately. Here’s how I cope. Not only are these pointers good for stress relief, but they’re good time killers if you’re bored, too!

  1. Bite nails.
  2. Sit and focus on one word, repeat in head continuously until it no longer makes sense
  3. Listen to favorite music
  4. Practice breathing exercises
  5. Meditate
  6. Watch favorite movies from when I was growing up. Great escapism.
  7. Make paper airplanes out of grocery bags
  8. Hold cat up and talk in a little voice while waving his arms around like he’s the one talking.
  9. Take head and place in vice; tighten until I start to feel cracking
  10. Cut own hair with eyes closed
  11. Microwave stuff just to see what happens to it (boy, you should see what it did to my pet lobster)!
  12. Eat expired foods to see if nervous stomach allows it to pass by with no side effects
  13. Spin around until nausea sets in, continue spinning until vomiting occurs.
  14. Take paperclip and attempt to pierce tongue. Fail miserably, then lick freshly cut lemon
  15. Chew on tinfoil
  16. Jab things under fingernails
  17. Put thin layer of Elmer’s school glue on hands, allow to dry, then peel off like dead skin
  18. Throw already broken cell phone against wall to try and make it even more broken
  19. Eat food that tastes bad and attempt to convince self that it tastes like chocolate cake. Hey, it’s all mind over matter, man!
  20. Stomp on own foot until it goes numb
  21. Hold newspaper upside down in front of a mirror, try to read it
  22. Try and play CDs by putting CD face down on turntable, spinning really fast with hand, and pointing laser pointer beam on it
  23. Hold breath until I pass out
  24. Try and lose pencil eraser up nostril like that one kid in 7th Grade did
  25. Bang head against wall
  26. Make Macaroni and Cheese and upon completion, get out Bunsen burner, goggles, and flasks, try to reverse steps and turn back into uncooked pasta, butter, milk, and powder.
  27. Make lists of ridiculous things to do when freaking out