If you’ve never seen one of these before, no, it is not a fancy bong, it’s a Galileo thermometer (more info here). A little phallic looking, isn’t it?

I received one as a Christmas gift one year, and thanks to my mind being in the gutter most of the time, I developed what seemed to be a rather suitable nickname for it: “The Weather Penis”.

Was at the Cheescake Factory on Friday and after 1 beer and half of a chocolate martini, conversation topic quickly began to head south – I don’t remember how or why, but the Weather Penis was mentioned… and my mind started wandering. What if the Weather Penis was used as, um, you know – an adult toy? (caution easily offended readers: this gets worse)

Not only would it probably be good for that purpose – but it would serve as a thermometer too. The only thing is you’d have to somehow have it inserted in its upright position and leave it untouched for a good 10-15 minutes to get an accurate reading.

I could take this a lot further, but I’ve probably gone too far already. I’ll spare you from the details and visuals I have in my head. Trust me – it’s not pretty.