Today is my mom’s birthday. Woo hoo! We celebrated it yesterday with her at my parent’s compound – my sister made a delicious dinner and chocolate cake.

Let me tell you how much my mom kicks ass:

I remember when I was 9 or 10 we were walking outside of K Mart past one of those mini merry go rounds. There were a few teenagers goofing off on it, just barely fitting on the teeny horses, and my mom walked up and put a quarter in so it would spin around… they all screamed and laughed and I’m sure were giving her the thumbs up. One time she was making chocolate frosting and had a big ol’ spatula full of it. My aunt jokingly opened her mouth, and mom dumped the entire blob of chocolate frosting, about 1 cups with, on her face.

One time she ate one of her bird’s thyroid pills thinking it was an asprin. She called the vet and he said no harm done. I did catch her eyeballing the bird seed more than usual for the next few days, though.

After moving around like a retarded sloth on the basketball courts during the 4-5 months of my life that I played a sport, (5th grade, I think it was) she’d take me to SA to get gummy bears and a huge ass fountain drink. I went on many a late night Cub Foods trips with her. She didn’t kill me when I scribbled permanent marker all over her antique chairs when I was a little kid. At one of my band’s recent shows, she picked up a dead bug and made like she was going to eat it in front of my percussionist (this answered many of their questions in regards to why I am like I am).

She has often told me I’m her favorite child, and that my sister and brother were adopted, but they don’t know it yet. She also says I’m by far the most talented of the 3 kids. She told me that when the time comes, I get their house and all of the furniture.

There’s a million other mom stories I have, but I’ll save those for me…

Happy Birthday, Mom!