I’m a little confused. Since band practice last night, the time has been 9:43:38. It must have happened while we were in the midst of rehearsing our hit song “Weird Beard Rides Again”. I looked at my watch and thought, “Hm, that’s a might bit peculiar.. it was 9:43:38 a few minutes ago.”

At the end of practice, it was still 9:43:38. When I went to bed it was still 9:43:38. I woke up this morning and guess what time it was? 9:43:38. And right now as I type this? Yep, 9:43:38.

This is the longest second I’ve ever experienced in my life. I sure am getting a lot accomplished in this 38th second – I’ve gone to band practice, went to bed, taken the doggy out to poop, seen our neighbor’s toilet paper tail, gone to a coffee shop and updated my resume… man, this is awesome. I wonder if I’ve stopped aging as a result of this?

As my grandpa would say, going by everyone else’s clocks, at least my watch displays the correct time twice a day. But I don’t go by everyone else’s clocks – I go by my watch because of its concise, easy to read dashes. I’m not sure why it stopped working, but maybe this is a sign. A sign that if I want to cause trouble at no expense, perhaps time has suspended itself for me and now’s a better time than ever to live like a madman.

If you are a person I’ve been in contact with in regards to hooking up at a specific time, please bump it to 9:43:39 or shortly thereafter if you would be so kind, because I have a lot of living left to do in this current second. Nothing personal, but I don’t want anyone cutting into my fun time, as I may never have this chance again to stretch a single second out so far.

The first thing on my list of things to do: Go and loot nearest music store.

After taking care of several other things on my 38th second laundry list of fun, the last thing on my list will be to go to Walgreens and buy a new watch battery.