My cellular communication device is the kind that most refer to as a “flip phone”. You open it up, do your business, and fold it back in half when yer done. To those of you who don’t own cell phones (bless your little hearts), when you’re done talking you hang these kinds of phones up by folding them shut like some sort of oblong taco.

So I’ve been using it for a month now and it’s cool, I guess. Problem is, I got so used to folding it in half after a conversation ends that now when I use regular land-line phones, I forget and fold them in half too. If you’ve never tried folding a phone that wasn’t built to be folded, it takes a tremendous amount of effort. But hey, I’m forgetful like that, and when I’m determined to do something like hang a phone up, I’ll be damned if anything’s going to stop me.

So far I’ve gone through 3 at work, and the boss is getting a little upset. She kept me today from breaking number 4 – I had just finished a call and had the phone across my leg, applying pressure on both ends to fold… or.. um.. I guess snap it in half in order to hang it up. She rolled up a newspaper and swatted me, snapping me back into reality. Oh yeah, says I to myself, this kind doesn’t fold.

This seems to be getting worse. Now when I’m done talking face-to-face with a person that’s in the same room with me, I suddenly feel the urge to bend over and touch my toes. My phone has brainwashed me into thinking that after any sort of communication whatsoever, I need to fold something in half in order to feel a sense of closure. This probably would come in handy if I wrote letters to people all the time, ’cause letters, much like flip phones, get folded when you’re done saying what you have to say in them. But in this day and age of email, that’s just not how things work.

Maybe I should just try and make the best of this by always being sure I have some laundry on hand when I’m talking to people.