I was walking down the street near my place the other day and a gentleman that looked sorta like Danny Aiello approached me from a new storefront in town. It is a dry cleaners. The floor is a giant black and white checkerboard and the place looks quite tidy, so I like it already. Problem is, most of what I own requires no dry cleaning, save for that one tie I bought back in 1994.
He emerged from the doorway and excitedly said to me “Excuse me sir. We are a new business in town, we do dry cleaning!” He had money saving certificates in his hand and passed one onto me. “$6.99 jackets, half of what Nokomis Cleaners charges!”
I looked at the sheet and thought aw shit, I don’t ever take stuff to dry cleaners, but I wanted to help Dude out, ’cause he seemed friendly. I sensed his desperation, so tried to humor him by asking a question:
“You guys do socks?”
He winced a little, gave me a weird look, and I could tell I wasn’t going to get anywhere with this guy by cracking jokes with him. Okay.. um.. “Oh, $6.99 jackets!” I said. “I’ve been meaning to take this old thing in!” as I wiggled the zipper up and down a little bit on my dark blue jacket. fwwt fwwwwwt!
“$6.99, I’ll do it for you right now!” he said. Jeez, it’s cold out and I have no other means of protection from our harsh climate right now. It’s not like I had my Taun Taun parked at the curb that I could slit open and crawl inside to keep warm. I lost two already last winter doing that and am currently saving up for my next one. A Hybrid, no less.
I told him I’d be back with my coat tomorrow and he said “Okay!” and introduced himself, shaking my hand. I wanted to give him a hug and tell him business would get better, but kept it at a handshake.
Well, it’s tomorrow now and I’ve got a few days left to go yet till payday. I’ve a car repair bill to pay for, so let me just say with that in mind having a nice smelling coat isn’t my first priority at this time. I can see his storefront from my bedroom window and am wondering if he can see me. And he’s probably wondering why I didn’t come in like I said I would.
Now I can’t take my usual walk to SA past his store, because he’ll see me and there will be that awkward tension. This could all turn into a Seinfeld episode the way things are going: I live right across the street, he will see me outside, an across-the-street shouting match might ensue..
That’s it. I need to bring my jacket in. Maybe I can go buy another one to wear while I have my current one in his shop. It will end up costing me $66.99 or something if I do that though.
Okay. So I’ll just give the guy a shameless plug and hope that’s good enough for my independent dry cleaner karma. If you live in Uptown and your DRY CLEAN ONLY duds are starting to carry a cloud of dusty been-sitting-in-a-closet B.O., act now and take ’em to Genesis Cleaners on Franklin. The prices are astounding (actually I have no idea about that) and the ambiance is something to be seen. This ain’t your mama’s dry cleaners. As the price list I have says, WE DARE TO COMPARE.
Somebody dare them, please. I only have one jacket and it’s hella cold out right now.
You mean to tell me that Danny Aiello runs Phil Collins' drycleaning joint? Genesis Cleaners RULES!
Ooooh..! they should have called it the Genesis Dry Cleaning Stu-stu-studio..
Oh. That was so bad I think I just made myself carsick.