This pic was taken about 20 minutes ago. That’s me and the Frank sitting before what could very well be my Last Supper.
Mom sent me home with some of her homemade chili a while back which had been in the freezer for quite some time. I took it out and threw it in the fridge to thaw in the beginning of last week (Monday? Tuesday? Maybe even Sunday?) and sorta forgot about it until tonight.
It’s too cold out to run and grab something, and I’m too cheap to call for a delivery. I’m going out of town this week so am holding off on the grocery shopping. So that leaves me with only three remaining options: Hot dogs, Frosted Flakes, or the nearly week-old chili.
I’m tired of Frosted Flakes. I didn’t think that was possible, but try eating Frosted Flakes for breakfast and lunch day after day and see how long you last. I only have a half loaf of bread left and refuse to use bread as a hot dog bun (it’s a long story), so that rules out hot dogs as an option.
So there I stood looking at the white container of chili. I took the lid off and gave ‘er a whiff. Still smelled like chili. Looked like it needed a little stirring from separating while it sat all week, but other than that, it looked okay. I think.
I contemplated this for a good 20 minutes: Either I spend $20 on a crappy delivery pizza pie, or I heat up this here chili and eat for free. If I die, at least I saved $20.
So I did it. I heated up the chili, dumped a shitload of Tabasco in it (I loves me the Tabasco something fierce) and took a teeny sip off the spoon. Hm.. still tasted like chili. I threw in a few more splashes of Tabasco, cause I figure if anything it might help kill off whatever sort of eco community that may have grown in the chili over the past few days.
So, one and a half bowls later and so far I feel fine. Should anything happen to me though, it was nice knowing you all, and I wish you all the best. If you don’t hear from me on this blog thing in the next 48 hours, I’d say it’s safe to send the medics and a body bag up to my place. I haven’t written a will yet, but so long as my guitars are buried with me and Frank gets to live with Mom and Dad, that’s all I really care about.
I’m looking at my watch now and starting to realize there’s so much more I want to do with my life yet. First and foremost my trip to the New York this week. That’s something I’ve always daydreamed of doing for quite some time now, and aw, SHIT! I may have just blown it, all for a dang bowl of chili.
Well, alls I can do is hurry up and wait, I guess. It was some pretty damned good homemade Mom chili, I must say.. so if that was indeed my last meal, at least it was a good hearty one. Unlike that one time 10 or so years ago when I ate some of a Subway party sub that had been left out all night after the holiday party at Target when I worked there. I thought I was a goner for sure as I was eating that, and damn. That would have really sucked to die from a piece of a 10 foot long Cold Cut Combo.