I’ve taken up a new hobby. I can hold a cat up to my head (my cat Frank at least) and tell what he ate for dinner. See?
My guess: some Science Diet adult formula. And. Wait… I sense something else.. it’s… it’s..

Ah HA. The last piece of Italian Sassidge I had saved from my bowl of pasta. That’s my favorite part and I always save one hunk for last. I can’t send a noodle down the hatch as last bite, it’s so… unsatisfying. But it looks as if that’s going to be the case tonight. FRANK.

Some would say I can’t read a cat’s stomach at all and it’s just the fact that my bowl was empty when I returned to it and he was the only one here. There’s always going to be some skeptics out there. To those people: don’t come bitching to me to solve your food-related crimes when stuff is missing from your plates. Nope. You’re on your own, buddy.