The bakery next to the coffee shop has a sign in the window that says “YES, WE HAVE PEANUT BRITTLE” It is handwritten on an 8.5 x 11 sheet in thin colored marker. I let out a huge sigh of relief upon reading that sign.. You don’t see peanut brittle too much these days and I was starting to get worried that it was going out of style. Who wants to eat gummy bears or chocolate when you can have something rock hard that if it doesn’t first break your teeth, will get lodged in every possible crevice your teeth have to offer and remind you of where all of your cavities are with nice sharp, cold jolts of pain?

Aaah, the holidays are over. For me, at least. Never really celebrated New Years Eve in our family – it’s quite a silly thing to celebrate, no? Everyone gets drunk, more drunk, and more drunk, and then 11:59 comes. Suddenly everyone is making a bunch of noise, and you wonder “Why is everyone making so much noise? What’s wrong…?” and then it dawns on you: “Oh yeah, I’ve had too much to drink and it must officially be 2005. Woo hoo! I need to be festive now because the numbers changed!”

To me, New Years means only one thing: I need to try and remember to write 05 on my checks instead of 04. However, this time around I’m not writing checks anymore because I don’t have money to cover them, nor do I have a checking account. Worse yet, last I heard, Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Years Eve isn’t even being hosted by Dick because he’s 200 years old and recently had a stroke or broke a hip… or one of his limbs fell off because he’s 200 years old and is turning into a fossil. Regis Philbin is filling in and he’s cool, but no spring chicken either – what if he falls apart before then? Then they’d probably get some limp weiner like Al Roker or Ryan Seacrest for the gig. I think they should have someone like Howard Stern, Courtney Love, or Anna Nicole host the thing.. it would at least be entertaining, because you’d never know what was going to come next. They still call Dick America’s Oldest Teenager. I think Dick should get into hippety hop music to try and appeal to today’s teenagers.. start playing Grand Theft Auto San Andreas, wearing Sean Jean apparel, drinking Pimp Juice and all that good stuff.

With that in mind, I need to find a reason to be excited about the year changing over. Find a New Years resolution and stick to it. Umm… I know! My New Years resolution will be this: I hope that somewhere in the 365 days that will be 2005, I will get another tattoo. I saw Dr. Phil on a talk show and he said to stick to your New Years resolution, you need to convince yourself that New Years resolutions are not fun and they’re a lot of work if you really want to fulfill them. If you fall off the horse, you need to get right back on and keep going.

Man, I better live up to that one – I wouldn’t want to disappoint myself. I better start thinking about a design and price range. This is some pretty serious, high priority, important stuff.