Those of you who know me remember that I once sported a hairstyle not unlike Cousin It from the Addams Family. Before I hacked it off, it went down to my waistline and was constantly kept back in a ponytail to avoid it becoming entangled in my food and caught in my fingers whilst playing geetar. Not to mention there were many nights when I’d nearly suffocate from rolling around while sleeping. I could only wash it every 2-3 days as it would take 3 hours to dry, and it became more of a hassle than it it was worth. 1 trip to Hair Police and $30 later, I looked like a boy for the first time in 16 years. Aaaah – such freedom!

What I didn’t realize is there’s a downside to short-hairdom, that being maintenance. In the world of hair care, I can define the word maintenance for you in 4 easy, short words: 1) spending 2) lots 3) of 4) money. You’re supposed to get your hair cut every 6-8 weeks to keep it healthy. Or in my case, to keep it from looking like my 8th grade school picture. Where I go, it’s $30 for your basic run of the mill cut. Every 6-8 weeks comes out to approx. $210 a year when you include tips. Plus, you need jars of hair goop and shampoo to maintain a lovely looking haircut, and those will run you about $10-15 a pop if you want to get the stuff that doesn’t fry your follicles. I know – I shouldn’t complain too much, I’ve heard financial horror stories about perms, dreads, and coloring.. and at least I don’t need to have that stuff done. I loves me my short hair, just hate paying for it.

I bring this haircut thing up because it seems like I just got one not too long ago and am starting to look like a shaggy dog.. wasn’t that just a few weeks ago? Nope.. now that I think of it, it was a couple of weeks prior to Thanksgiving. Crimeny.

Fuck this, I’m gettin’ me a beard trimmer, setting that sonofabitch to the lowest setting, giving myself a crew cut, and washing my hair with a bar of soap from now on.