Our latest guilty pleasure as far as reality television shows go is a program called Cheaters. The show goes like this:

1) Girl/boy becomes suspicious that their significant other is cheating (hence the clever name “Cheaters”).
2) Cheaters is contacted and sends spies out with video cameras to record cheating significant other in the act.
3) Cheaters shows footage to person being cheated on and then allows person to ambush the guilty party of two on camera, usually in a public place where everyone watches the spectacle unfold and takes pictures with their camera phones.

I had first heard of this on VH1’s Most controversial Reality Show Moments. One particular Cheaters segment involved the host and heartbroken lover going out on a boat to nab the cheating man who was adrift with his mistress having fun in the sun. One thing led to another and the man ended up stabbing the show’s host in the gut. Good shit! People getting stabbed is definitely no laughing matter, but if you watch the show enough and get to know the host, you’ll sort of realize that the stabbing boatman was probably trying to do us all a favor.

My favorite ever Cheaters episode was one we just recently watched. It was so good that all I could do was stare at the telly in utter disbelief and feel my self esteem skyrocket:

They interviewed the woman who suspected her man was cheating. To give you an idea of this woman’s charisma and beauty, all I can say is imagine an even less attractive, white trash, lethargic Rosanne Arnold – I can’t remember her real name, so I’ll just call her Rosanne. Her story of how he proposed to her started out like this:

[in southern drawl] “We was at the Red Lobster when he proposed to me..” and after that I just lost it. I do remember something to the fact that he hid her engagement ring in a Red Lobster dessert of some sort.

So anyways, the Cheaters sleuths followed this man for a few days and sure enough, he was seeing another woman. Kimb and I looked at each other with dead, wide eyes and open mouths when we saw her. She was in a wheelchair, had corn teeth, lived in a dirty old trailer, and could have easily passed for Joey Ramone. The man was filmed propping her up on the hood of Rosanne’s car and then playing some hot-n-heavy tonsil hockey with her. He later did some tricks in her wheelchair while she sat on the back of the car with her legs dangling like Kermit The Frog. I wondered to myself if his tongue ever got stuck in the gaps between her teeth when they kissed and then started throwing up in my mouth a little bit.

So, they showed the footage to the Rosanne (who I forgot to mention was 4 months pregnant with his baby) and she was all for busting this fella.. so off she went with the Cheaters crew to wheelchair lady’s trailer. Wackiness insued.

There they were in all their glory frolicking outside her trailer next to Rosanne’s car. This took place in Kansas if I recall correctly and they mentioned that severe tornadic weather was imminent. It was cloudy and the wind was blowing something fierce.. but nothing was going to stop Rosanne from busting this dude.

As soon as she appeared, you could read his face like a book, and it said “I AM SHITTING MY PANTS RIGHT NOW”. After a few “Baby, I’m so sorries”, he just took off running as fast as he could down the dirt road. The camera remained stationary, zoned in on Bubba booking it like a scared little piggy. The Wheelchair mistress rolled off camera to regroup and cry a little bit and I’ve got to admit, I felt pretty damn bad for her. This was truly a priceless piece of television history, my friends.

This show has proven to be the ultimate form of embarrassing revenge for those who find out their partners are fooling around. If you are at all suspicious of your partner, I highly urge you call the show and try to get on it – especially if you are of a particularly trashy heritage, because that makes it all the more entertaining to watch.

http://www.cheaters.com