Several years ago, one would never imagine people walking around with cell phones capable of taking pictures. Think about it… is this really a necessary device to have? We seemed to get along with our lives just fine before they existed. However, the once unfathomable concept of a camera built into a cell phone eventually became a reality – and proved to be an overwhelming success. It was something we really didn’t need to have, but upon its inception people bought into it like flies to dog poo. Much like the custom built Celine Dion Auditorium in Vegas… that one is way more closely related to flies and dog poo, but I’m telling you something you probably already know.
I had an idea the other day. Let’s take that camera thing a little further now. I think it might be a good idea to start cranking out pets with built in cameras. This would be a very practical, entertaining feature, would it not? All you’d have to do is have a small camera lens installed in your pet’s forehead and maybe a USB port in their bum area where you could extract the media from. Or better yet – make it WIFI. You could experience live, realtime pictures and movies from your pet’s perspective with none of those pesky wires.
“Where’s the cat? I haven’t seen him in quite a while!”
“I don’t know, turn the camera on!”
“Oh, I’m getting an image of the end table in the guest bedroom and the violin picture above it. He’s okay!”
This would be cool in hamsters, too. While suckling on their water bottle, you could take a snapshot and see what it looks like to be drinking out of something the size of an exhaust pipe hooked up to a giant clear tube full of water. And imagine the possibilities while viewing a romp through a Habitrail transport system (those cool-ass clear orange tubes that you buy for your little rodents to run through – sort of an ant farm for hamsters).
Of course you might want to turn the camera off when doggy is cleaning his/her nether-regions or whilst they’re vomiting up that 3′ string of carpeting they chewed up.
This could provide a whole new angle for detectives as well. Alls you’d have to do is bring your guinea pig Tyrone out on the hunt with you and when you saw the person you’re after, hold the guinea pig up to their face, say “Excuse me, would you like to pet my cute guinea pig? His name is Tyrone!” and before they knew anything had happened, their photo would have been taken. That would be so awesome.
It would prove to be useful for paparazzi as well. Goldie Hawn would have no idea you were taking a picture of her dimply posterior on the beach if you held up your cameraferret towards her. Sure, she’d give you a look, but it would be more of a “why is that man pointing a ferret at me?” rather than “F*&^king paparazzi are at it again..”
You could also take a closeup picture of your nose while snuggling up to the face of your beloved pet.
Imagine the sheer possibilities that would ensue if CameraPets were to become a reality.
Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. “He has all of these great ideas, but no one listens.” And you’re right. I can’t figure out why it is I’m still having difficulty making ends meet when I have such great ideas like drilling holes in your pet’s craniums and putting digital cameras in them.