I was glad to hear from my Aunt Cookie that she tried to access this journal at work and it has been blocked due to inappropriate content. Awesome! I feel so controversial! To Cookie’s IT department: thanks for making me feel special.
My apologies for anyone else who may be reading this at work on a regular basis, but I want to be banned some more. If I have already been blocked at your workplace, chances are you aren’t reading this anyways, so um.. not sure to go with that.
I want to be banned more. Many great writers in history have fallen victim to their books being burned, banned at bookstores – Salmon Rushdie even had a bounty out on his head a while back. Perhaps it is because his first name is a fish and that was enough to set somebody off? If that was the case, whomever it was that was so upset was obviously not a cat or a fisherman.
I digress.
Regardless, that’s one of my main goals as a writer: I want someone out there to be so upset by what I write that they want to cut my head off. So I’m gonna make an effort right now to get the ball rolling by saying some words that are both sacred and forbidden in many a business across this great world of ours and see if I can make that bounty on my head a reality someday!
UPDATE: 7.30.05 – okay, so a few of you have yelled at me because you would prefer to continue reading these posts at work. For you and only you, I have updated the following list full of naughty words and replaced some of the letters with symbols. Ya happy now, you dang babies? If your IT department has any of these words in their new Micycle-encrypted formats on their blocking list and you’re unable to read this at work now, then your company is really lame and maybe it’s time to find a new job.
V@gin@.
Peni5.
F@rt.
E@rw@x.
Belly button.
P00p.
Fece5.
Ur!ne.
Elevator music.
French kissing.
H0mo5exual.
P0rn.
Pub!c h@irs.
Gene+@lia.
B00gers.
Sn0t.
S@t@n worshipping.
Reruns of Full House.
That should get me off to a good start! Once again, my apologies if you can no longer read this at your workplace due to my filthy language. On the bright side, maybe you’ll get more work done now and impress your boss with your sudden increase in productivity.
