My Halloween soitenly got off to a spooky start.

Played a fun show last night with one of my all time favorite bands Silly Little Nothings. After a long night of pre-Hallow’s Eve bliss at the creepy Station 4 bar and a long weekend of moving, I pulled the Death Star up to the curb at 1am, loaded my music gear into my flat, and passed out cold.

This morning I went out to my car expecting to get a few more things out of it and was surprised to discover that either it wasn’t there or it had put on an invisibility cloak as a Halloween disguise. An invisibility cloak would only cover a small portion of the vehicle, so I immediately ruled that out.

It was 8:15am, and the sign next to where my car used to be read “NO PARKING 7AM-6PM MONDAY THRU FRIDAY.” Well gaaaaaaaaaaawd damn! Was planning on going into work at 9am, but here’s what transpired instead:

1) Realized car was not there.
2) Walked over to pick up damage deposit check from old apartment building at 8:30am as directed. No one was there, sign that read “back at 10:30” was on the door. Said some very bad words, as this $ was going towards rent check I just wrote out to new landlord last week.
3) Went home, sat on hold on impound lot hotline for 30 mins before getting through to operator to verify the Death Star was indeed there. Yup, it was. Realized didn’t have proof-o-insurance to get car out of impound lot, as my insurance card was still packed in a box somewhere. Just spent all weekend moving. Went online to print one out.
4) Could not access account information online.
5) Sat on hold with insurance company for 10 mins, had them email statement to me.
6) Went to print out statement, realized printer was still packed in box somewhere and remembered printer was pert near out of ink last time I used it and that previous printing attempts were illegible.
7) Found and set up printer anyhow, first shaking printer with great gusto to hopefully knock ink loose.
8) Got a decent enough printout.
9) Walked 1.5 miles to impound lot, took in scenery of the Lyndale/I94 sidewalks and froze. Turned down numerous transients asking if I had spare change and/or cancer sticks.
10) Looked at very dark clouds wondering if it was going to rain, thinking my, wouldn’t that be the icing on the cake. Thankfully it held off.
11) Arrived at Impound Lot, waited for a long time.
12) Paid $133 towing bill. Man behind bulletproof glass was also kind enough to give me the $34 parking ticket as added bonus.
13) Got car, arrived back at old apartment to pickup damage deposit check. Lady there couldn’t find my info. Started digging around and making phone calls for 10 minutes. Remember the scene in “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” where Steve Martin doesn’t get his rental car? Yep, that was me (on the inside)…
14) Walked thru old apartment with fumbling lady, got my damn check.
15) Finally arrived at work bright and late at 11:15.
16) Exhaled and sat like a big pile of hurt for the rest of the work day.

All you can do when things like this happen is laugh it off, which I did (I have become a great laugher-offer of things this year!) ‘Sall cool, though – I’ve never been happier to be in my own place and settled for once. I celebrated tonight by spending $70 on groceries, cooking, and piggin’ out on my incredibly squishy, totally bitchin’ vomit green sectional couch I recently inherited from grandma. Kudos to moms and pops for driving that out here tonight and absolutely making my day. Frank and I are off to crash and chill on this cozy-ass shit depicted below to catch some Bewitched re-runs, hells yeah we are.

Happy Holler Ween, everyone. Eat some candy for me, I’m too dang full and pooped out. See? Here goes my noggin:*thud.*