A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away on a planet called My Childhood there were two major forces that hip-mo-tized me into buying an electric guitar and figuring out how to make it go.
1. This poster on my bedroom wall (which I still have and hang):
And
2. This particular video nugget of Eddie Van Halen. The rest of the MTV special this clip is from did me in as well as did all of my VH albums, but this pushed me over the edge:
That completely blew my mind. Wait, you can do THAT with one of those? I wanted an electric guitar oh so badly before, but that sealed the deal. I was too young to get a fast food job but not too young to detassle corn, and that I did until I had $250 banked up (with additional help from my incredibly awesome and generous parents, mind you) to take to Water Music in Stillwater MN and exchange for a Kramer (just like Eddie used!) Aerostar and Gorilla amp. I can only imagine how thrilled my parents must have been as I sat in the living room rewinding the shit out of that elephant/horse clip teaching myself how to do that on my new electric rig. Those would be the first of hundreds of hours sitting and dissecting Eddie Van Halen’s guitar wizardry. That summer I even wore white puffy pants and a wifebeater like he did in the video and started to grow my hair out. Dig the sweet mullet and wifebeater one-two punch in this pic from that era:
My white puffy pants must have been in the wash that day, but that’s me deep in the throes of my Attempting Eddie/puffy pant/wifebeater phase. Eventually I dropped the fashion part, but held onto learning his guitar musics well into the 1990s and am still compelled from time to time (okay, every time I play) to bust out some tapped harmonics and make cool weird noises as a result.
*******
Since them good ol’ days I’ve seen Van Halen live on almost every tour. I’m guessing I’ve been to well over a dozen shows – mostly the Van Hagar era, but Bryn and I saw them with Dave in 2007 – which was my first live Dave show – when he and Ed buried the hatchet. Since then I’ve been hoping to catch them with Dave again if they ever did another tour.
Fast forward to a few months ago when they announced their tour dates. I was hoping for a Madison Square Garden show, but the closest show they were playing was Jones Beach which is a 2 hour pilgrimage from NYC. I had been keeping an eye on the ticket prices for those two Jones Beach shows for quite some time and really wanted to go but didn’t have the dough to do it. On top of the insane Ticketbastard prices there’s also having to spend money and time to travel 2 hours on the LIRR to get there and back. A few days ago I entered a contest to win 2 tickets thinking that it would be nice, but not getting my hopes up.
Last Friday I was on the Q train heading home for the weekend and as it was zipping over the Manhattan Bridge I received an email letting me know that I was one of the chosen ones:
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Well I’ll be derned. Off we went on the LIRR to Jones Beach, slamming a couple of beers on the way. It’s allowed on the LIRR trains, and dude. We were going to see Van Halen for free. Come on! We eventually made it to Jones Beach. There were people tailgating and cooking out in the packed, massive parking lot. It was just like being in the movie Heavy Metal Parking Lot but everyone was 30 years older and a lot more mellow. The theater itself is an outdoor amphitheater (WIN!) and it was a muggy but cool, breezy night. We nabbed our tickets and headed to our seats.
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I don’t even know where to start from there. I’ve been reading how this is the tour to see, that they’re better than ever – and I would have to agree. As mentioned I’ve seen them every year since the 90s (save for any Gary Cherone era gigs) and as an equal opportunity VH fan (save for aforementioned Cherone era) I have the utmost love for both Dave and Sammy… although if I had to pick a favorite it would easily be Dave. He’s never lost his immensely amusing energy and charm as a frontman, but since his return in 2007 his voice has been pretty, um, how do you say, shitty. Either Dave has been listening to the not-so-kind fan comments and working with a vocal coach, the constant touring is whipping his pipes into shape, or both, but as of last night I give him a big fat A+ with a thick red marker as not only one of rock’s greatest frontmen, but now also a great singer. Dave is back!
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Alex’s drumming was a nonstop brick shithouse as usual, and I even enjoyed his drum solo. It was accompanied by a nicely orchestrated backtrack as usual and was definitely one of his better solos. Almost better than my favorite one of all time when I saw them on the Balance tour in the 1990s when the poor guy had to play the whole show wearing a neckbrace.. it was simultaneously funny and sad watching the dude pounding away but having to not get too carried away. That didn’t stop him from kicking assimus majoris that night.
And then there’s Eddie. Just like with my other guitar hero Ace, I’m accustomed to only having seen Eddie play deep under the spell of booze. It was always fun to watch him but after every concert I would leave thinking “Man, he was amazing… although a little sloppy. But hey, it’s live!” Not last night. Just like when I go see Ace these days, it’s obvious having seen Ed blurred by alcohol so many times that he is presently sober and firing on all cylinders. He’s constantly smiling, playing amazingly, and mentally there for a change. His playing left me sitting there drooling and flabbergasted, feeling like a warm, fuzzy happy blob of Jell-O. His guitar solo was by far the best I’ve ever seen. I even caught myself involuntarily doing the Wayne and Garth “I’m not worthy” bow.
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Wolfgang won me over, too. I used to be a Michael Anthony guy and am not a fan of how Eddie handled the situation with him but in all honesty it’s nice to not have to endure his bass solos anymore. And man, Wolfie’s got some major chops. Of course he does. I guess he’s working on an album of his own stuff and dad is super proud of it – I look forward to hearing it. It’s gotta be a trip being that kid. Your dad is a guitar god, nearly all of dad’s guitars are named after you, and you get to be onstage with him, Uncle Al, and Diamond Dave every night. All the while playing a bass with your name on it. WHAT?
It would be a shame if they aren’t filming a show or two of this tour for a live DVD.. or maybe this is a warmup tour for the next one where they come back and kick even more ass. One can hope. If you have the chance to go see them, DO IT. Watching the closeups of Ed’s hands on the large screens I could see old man hands starting to creep in. Just like the rest of us they’re not getting any younger.. although they currently sure sound like they are.
Last but not least was our rather interesting exit from the venue and journey back to Brooklyn. We headed to where the bus dropped us off, found out that buses don’t run that late, and wandered around aimlessly in the parking lot for 20 minutes like two lost kids looking for mom at the grocery store. We were eventually directed toward the cab area, and my was that an interesting 100 feet of vultures to walk through. The first guy wanted $30.. HELL NO. We kept walking and interestingly enough the price kept getting lower the longer we walked and denied. Eventually we got out for $18 and home by 2AM.
Long and late trip home aside, holy ass kickery, Bat Man.
Thank you to my wife for taking pictures! I refuse to have my phone out at concerts, I’m from the old school of watching and listening with my ears and eyes rather than a phone screen like I saw many dumbasses doing last night. Bryn is well aware of and abides by that rule too but I’m glad she snuck her phone out and snapped a few shots for the few seconds that she did.
Okay, that’s enough typing for now. If you’ll excuse me I have to go play my guitar. I have yet to learn this:
